Information


When you’re caught in a catastrophe but not pressed by injury or urgency (me, Loma Prieta), the biggest problem is the lack of information.

Rumors fly. Cell networks fail. Even the emergency responders have trouble communicating. It’s dreadful.

But understandable. After all, it’s a catastrophe. What bothers me is the inability to get full information in non-catastrophic circumstances.

You know what I mean. We never get the real story about the BART delay or the flight cancellation. We all know that even if warning systems work, the powers-that-be might not tell us to evacuate, lest panic ensue.

It seems to me that the decision to withhold information from the public is based on reasoning like this: “Judging from the mob response when the news reports convey partial information, just imagine the chaos that would reign if we gave them the full story.”

Are they sure? I don’t think such an assumption has been tested. I’m starting to wonder if some of the panic/mob response is provoked by the mob members’ angry suspicion about information screening.

I think there’s abundant evidence that people, when allowed a full range of perception and a little maneuvering room, often perform admirably. I propose we give us a try.

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31 Flavors

I eavesdropped on flight attendant talk a year or so ago, and heard something I can’t forget.

I was on the way to Europe, so the attendants were multi-lingual. I had an aisle seat, and the two women were stalled with their cart near me for a few minutes. It was already obvious that they both spoke at least Italian, French and German in addition to our mother tongue.

“Oh, it’s German for me,” said the flight attendant positioned toward the front of the plane. “When it comes to love and romance, that’s the language I use. The vocabulary is so much richer.”

Well you could have knocked me over with a phrasebook! German better than French for love?

I don’t speak German. Maybe I should learn it. Maybe she was right.

Because English obviously has two roots: Latin/Romance and German/Norse. And while it’s true that the Latin-derived words are regularly iambic and satisfying to pronounce, it’s the vocabulary that came to us from the north that has the punch.

Impossible. Destructive. Understandable.

Kiss. Fart. Life. Gloat.

In my mouth, the words from Greek/Latin feel like caramel, look flighty, and taste safe.

The vocabulary that comes to us from Anglo Saxon is pungent, striking and solid.

It’s like the Latin parent forms pebbles that skip on the surface of our linguistic sea, but Anglo Saxon plows the water.

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Gifted Kids

I was 44 when I drafted this sonnet, and my kids were 17 and 12. My interlocutor had sons age 11 and 4. Our biggest area of disagreement was parenting. My goal was to raise self-regulating individuals who could handle their own boredom. My friend’s aim was to love, adore and enjoy his kids, and let them raise themselves.

That was a decade and a half ago. I never see my old friend any more. But I know who won the argument.

We over dinner talked of gifted kids,
for we each have a pair, and they are bright
of course (who isn’t? brilliance bids
in Berkeley for attention day and night).
And I maintained I’m maybe just as smart
as mine or smarter, surely smart enough
to guide them pulling artifice apart
(like raising me but maybe not as rough).

I mentioned books on this I haven’t read
(for I don’t like to read psychology
or critics’ work or “how to” words – instead
I try to act from earnest memory).
And you said most of all we have to heed,
when words from us are what they really need.

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What’s Right

A couple of months ago, Danny got wise with me. He said, “It seems to me there are two ways of being right. One depends on remembering the correct answer and the other requires solving a problem. In my opinion, remembering correctly is not something you can brag about. That’s like trying to take credit for 20/20 vision.”

Excellent reasoning, I thought. “Well put,” I said.

Recently, though, I’ve been considering a third way to be right. That’s what happens when news surfaces, or test results are reported, which support your prediction or understanding of a subject. For example, Katie has sent me links lately, about ego depletion and about pronouns, which reported observations the authors announced as surprising. But I wasn’t surprised. I’d thought a lot about the subjects, and the reported observations were exactly what I expected. Decision-making takes its toll on the ego. Men tend to use pronouns differently (less personally) than women do. “I was right!” I enthused as I read (and bookmarked, for future reference).

But I wasn’t gloating. It looked like a gloat. It sounded like a gloat. The word “arrogant” occurred to myself about myself. But that wasn’t it.

Rather, I was happy because I’d just received encouragement to proceed as I had been, in my examination of what it takes to live and be happy. The news told me I was not wrong.

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A Future Memory

As cool as foliage, this morning feels,
as sweet as cantaloupe and light as fern.
I walk to downtown Berkeley and my heels
don’t ache, my neck is loose; I do not yearn
for anything beyond my limbered reach.
Mature enough to misremember youth
I watch my kids. I listen to their speech.
I laugh myself to bed with broken tooth.

I’ll recollect this morning when I’m old.
I’ll reminisce about a sky still blue
as cornflowers, and space between the cars.
I’ll long for now when summer’s never cold
at dawn, when height no longer makes a view,
when special refuse smudges out the stars.

(I was 48 when I started this one, 58 when I edited it thoroughly, 61 now. Conditions haven’t degenerated as fast as I then feared …)

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Common Sense


When you become a grownup at five, your big questions are different than the issues interesting to chronological adults.

You wonder why the 30 other kids in your kindergarten class listen to the one teacher. (And as you age and share that wonder with your peers, you’re puzzled to discover that they never even had the question).

You want to know who created God. (You ask that one so persistently it gets you invited to leave Sunday School in another three years).

You are still puzzled about why people treat your brother differently than they do you. You know he pees through other anatomy than yours, but that’s the only substantive variation between you. You seem to have equivalent interests and abilities.

But the question that is most mysterious to you is about the shape of future life as it’s being presented by your culture. It makes no sense to you.

You understand that everyone has to work. You’re even able to appreciate the idea that without work, play wouldn’t be so happy. An infinite supply of candy would not be sweet the right way. But you cannot make sense of the proposed schedule.

You see that you’ll be expected to work at least five days out of every seven. At least 48 weeks out of every 52. Most of your daylight hours. After going through all the growing-up grief, you’re supposed to work hard from about age 20 to 65, and then retire once you’re too old to enjoy anything.

Well I wasn’t having any of it. And the people engaged in it were accusing me of lacking common sense.

To make a 55 year story short, I’ve changed my mind about a number of subjects but not this one. Every decision, about job, house, where I live, when I relax: every choice is made with the goal of having some vacation each day, and with the plan of never retiring from it all.

When one of Katie’s friends visited our house some years ago, she marveled. “Wow,” she said to my daughter. “Your mom’s so lucky, to live in a neighborhood where a car isn’t necessary.”

That cracked us up. If only she knew how many test-walks were taken, before I bought the place.

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Redundant Repetition

9.8.08
Katie and I were conversing awhile ago about words that have taken on a pejorative tone even though they shouldn’t. “Critical” has come to suggest finding fault in something, and “judgment” is so tainted that exercising the ability, about other people anyway, is seen as a character flaw.

So it was just a matter of time before I opened the dictionary.

“Critical” comes from the Greek. The noun krinein means to separate, decide, part, distinguish, put asunder. Kritos is picked and kritikos means one skilled in judging. The original critics were poetry judges.

“Judgment” comes from the Latin judicare. A judge is a decider.

See where I’m going? Not only should the two words be allowed to preserve their positive potential, but why on earth do we put them together? Why say critical judgment? What’s an uncritical judgment (besides an oxymoron)?

For that matter, can we now cut out the phrase “competent counsel?” I don’t know what moron first inserted the adjective, and I’m even more boggled that we let him succeed. Who consults incompetent counsel? And if they do, then does the disclaimer about consulting competent counsel cease to apply? Doesn’t “counsel” carry its own intimations of competence?

Want me to reiterate? Hello? Where’d that come from? To “iterate” means to repeat. It doesn’t need the “re.”

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While Reading Ouspensky


He gave a book to me to read him in,
as if it were a key to see his heart,
as if it were a magic talisman
to treasure, that can wedge the rocks apart
to plumb the reach of his experience
and visit metaphysic mystery,
to make of alchemy a seventh sense
and gaze at his elected history.

Four hundred heavy pages in my hand
for me to digest paragraphs each day:
I’m pushing at ideas to understand
the lesson and the learner, but dismay
with forty pages left is hard to brook,
and I may end the love before the book.

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Three Little Words

I met with a tough-talking attorney some years ago. He interviewed me to determine whether he wanted my little firm to handle his retirement plan. We sat in his conference room and discussed where I’d been and my approach and his objectives.

Our conversation ranged from the general about qualification rules to the specific about hypothetical transactions. It didn’t take long for him to ask me a question I couldn’t answer.

“I don’t know,” I began to reply, “but I can find out and get back to you.”

“No need,” he said. He leaned back in the leather chair and grinned. “You’ve got the job.”

I smiled.

“You said those three magic words I want to hear from any consultant:

I Don’t Know.”

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Backtitled


I watched a striving author try to write
a novel once, a score of years ago,
except his search for perfect title quite
disabled him. His story wouldn’t grow
until he had initiated it
with words he mined, and screened, and analyzed.
Until he found the phrase appropriate,
my sorry friend was dumb and paralyzed.

I think it would have been a better plan
for him to write the novel to its end,
and let it speak to him as stories can
and feelings do, for if we can depend
on us for any wise self-knowing,
be confident we don’t know where we’re going.

(I know: the 13th line is one beat short. So be it.)

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