Six days a week I set the pot to brew
three giant mugs of coffee, which I drink
while doing morning puzzles and a few
poetic exercises. Now and then
I’ll wipe the coffee maker down, and view
surprising stains emerging on the sponge.
Likewise, the list of luxuries that you
indulge in total more than what you think.
Accumulation’s subtle but it’s true.
Eight years ago their future flipped to grim,
and indications swerved from cheer to drear.
Survival was a staggered path for him,
and her defense was blocking thoughts that veer
to future – thorny, edged with fall and fear.
The road ahead was grievous, and the way
too steep (for that’s how distant hills appear).
The tactic served for then, but not today.
He tests as neurotypical, and hates
the last three syllables. The fellow claims
extraordinary status, calibrates
responses and collects eccentric names.
He says he always tried to fan the flames
rebellion sparks, to spike how he appeared.
Affecting roles, attempting shock – all games
unwarranted if he were truly weird.
Demolishing at least a hill of debt
produces unignorable debris.
I hope the observation won’t upset
you, but it spurs accountability.
You’re excellent with spreadsheets – don’t forget
one hundred cents amounts to currency.
I say begin a budget. It will yield
the questions you must answer to be healed.
How could you know the me of 23
to 33? I felt those seasons flow,
but if I spoke you weren’t heeding me.
How could you know?
We seldom argue, but I felt the blow
I heard you blurt with anger recently.
My ears and eyes advised me to bestow
(at least attempt) an earnest summary.
I hope benign intentions overthrow
impressions held a quarter century.
How could you know?
I used to frolic, 60 years ago,
on territory rising by the sea.
My peers and I meandered high and low
among old bunkers, scrambling down the scree
to wave at waves and harmonize with blow
of surf besieging pebbles and debris.
I snapped this shot with wind upon my face,
amid glad memories about this place.
There may be different kinds of empathy,
I gather from a recent argument.
Perhaps a stranger’s read more readily
than those I hold to heart. There’s little risk
absorbing bits of personality
outside the radius of where I love.
Like playing cards without a pot, I’m free
to let the mute reception flow, unbent
by chance of forfeiture or penalty.
I logged a date on phone and paper too,
but didn’t look at home or screen device.
Distracted by an argument, I threw
attention off, and mostly wasn’t nice.
But luckily the other missed her cue,
petitioning to alter plans. The price
I might have owed for failing to recall
was never charged or registered at all.
Tomorrow’s a day to completely relax.
I came home on Monday, but then
the office and family traded attacks
on leisure. I’ll be here again
tomorrow, devoted to resting the backs
and bottoms of old feet.
Amen.
Neurodivergent
means not trying to be weird,
for that’s your normal.
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