Armchair Psychology

Confronted with enigma of the sort
a person evidences acting weird,
I’m likely to create my own report:
a fiction that implies how things appeared.
What motivation or pathology
propels a character to acts deserved?
Which facets of the personality
would naturally produce the scenes observed?

If she-who-hides-her-body was abused
so hard and early she forgets her past,
and harbors he-who-ought-to-be-accused,
and fills her home with clutter, soiled, vast,
perhaps the one who listens and inspects
is right to place the daughters with the ex.

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Danger Home

Her folks divorced when she was 6 years old.
Her father grew disordered in his mind.
She sensed the edginess, but never told
her mother how the evenings misaligned.
Two score of years were fated to unfold
before she trod that neighborhood, to find
a memory of feeling danger foam
instead of comfort, in her father’s home.

(Ottava Rima)

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Accumulation

Four years ago my bathroom was remade,
creating space for bathtub, better sink,
retaining skylight, fitting higher grade
of tile. My designer had to think
creatively; the workers knew their trade.
I use the sink to rinse but not to drink,
shampoo or launder. I behave with care –
but time amounts – I clogged it with my hair.

(Ottava Rima)

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Rarity

I sometimes wonder how it would have been
if I had had a mother like I am,
if needs had been expressed and met, begin-
ning early, never hearing “Can it! Scram.”
And now I watch my adult son, and know
his father was a negligent abuser.
But he’s paternal-excellent, although
that post-divorce male model was a loser.

And maybe it’s the luck of childhood
to have a single parent competent.
Of course a mated couple would be best,
but one may be sufficient, able, good.
Of all my teachers, two were excellent.
Expecting more may be a vain request.

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Blue on Blue

I’ve ridden rails for over 50 years,
and often disapproved of how they spend
their funds, complain of loss, and cringe at fears
of deficit while eating each stipend.
But now with age and Covid, it appears
the stress is real, while contractors extend
enhancements pre-approved, the way they do.
My exit yesterday was blue on blue.

(Ottava Rima)

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Dead Tree

I don’t know what variety it was,
but there are three adjacent to the fence.
I’m noticing it recently, because
the guy who tends the garden pointed thence
a month ago. Its death conveyed no sense,
but he and I intend to make amends
to dirt and drainage – then at some expense,
replant the spot with what he recommends.

(Huitain)

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Guilty (The Asshole)

I recollect that lunch I had with you
a decade and a half post our divorce,
describing how my own self-knowledge grew
to counter some old causes of remorse.
Then glibly you replied you’d known no guilt
since we split up, as if I were to blame
for any rue you felt before the jilt.
You staggered me with that embittered claim.

For I knew then how you abused our son
with anger so extreme, and slaps and yells.
And recently I learned, when he was young,
how you neglected him – your drinking spells
and inattention. Guilt’s poor penalty,
and you deserve all current agony.

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I Didn’t Know

I didn’t know your dad was negligent.
Before we split I saw him love you so,
I had no clue he grew incompetent.
I didn’t know.

Our breakup wasn’t angry or below
the surface, didn’t come as accident –
pathology now clear then didn’t show.

I thought him careful, kind, and with intent
to nurture you and teach you how to grow.
No witness could report his sad descent.
I didn’t know.

(Roundel)

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Efflorescence

The mortar’s not supposed to turn to dust.
It shouldn’t bulge and powder-drop this way.
I’ll call and pay a tradesman if I must,
but that’s an errand for a later day.
I’m sure there’s water – we had so much rain,
there has to be at least a pond outside
my eastern wall. At worst it may not drain
for months, and it’s too shaded to be dried.

My cottage is so old that it abuts
two neighbors’ yards. A foot from my brick wall
a fence of brick is built. Between them juts
some gutterwork, but it can’t channel all
that fell throughout December’s storminess.
Concerned, I see some mortar effloresce.

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Brownie Nut Cookies

I tried a cookie recipe last week.
I substituted walnuts for pecans
and used straight allulose, but my technique
was sensible (as were the written plans).
And I’ll report they have the taste I seek:
full chocolate while adhering to the bans
we’ve chosen – anti-sugar, low on grains –
desserts without a tax on guts and brains.

(Ottava Rima)

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