Wasn’t there something I wanted to write? Maybe if so I forgot. Seems I received dreaming scenes all last night. Questing back now? Maybe not. Wasn’t there something I wanted to say? Often I harbor a lot. Possibly I will be quiet today. That’s all I have now to jot.
The contrast was so sharp, I can’t ignore sensations I collected those 2 days. On Saturday I opted to explore on shaded grass some mortuary ways. At Sunday’s street fair there was so much more to take in – people, music, sale displays. The first was comfort gentle and impressive. The other felt obnoxiously aggressive.
Reporting to some loved ones facts I heard that may apply but need to percolate, and then of relatives bestowing word, the hours served to overstimulate. With insufficient rest, I rose to play with children: sweet but tiring, no dispute but lots of volume. Toting love my stay then ended, and I started my commute.
Two-thirds of that proceeded smoothly, till I surfaced for the final leg, the bus. Some crime occurred and cops arrived to fill three times the normal minutes with their fuss. At last I was released and I could flee to home, to find I couldn’t find my key.
It took me time to fall asleep last night. My tender throat inspired mortal thought, and talk about emotional insight and mysteries of medicine had brought disturbed considerations into light. I didn’t feel exactly overwrought, but comfort in the bed eluded me until the clock read some time after 3.
Five households occupy this one address. We share the water service, and today a plumber will shut off the main access. I don’t know when the interrupt will stay my water use; I suffer pre-distress. Deliberately I shuffle tasks, delay what’s waterless till early afternoon. I wouldn’t have done well on Herbert’s Dune.
It shouldn’t irritate me very much, but sloppy use of language hurts my mood. I read “more than fair share,” regarding such misfortunes as a chronic lack of food, surplus of grief, and tragedies that touch the soul attacking peace in attitude. Of course a lengthy life contains a share of bad, but there’s no quantity that’s fair.
We came upon him crying on the couch, his posture slumping forward and his face hair-hidden. We turned walking to a crouch around his curving frame, to strong-embrace our adolescent, murmur comfort, place good words in air, and confidence-assign. We lit with love and nearly missed the trace – he sits like a canary in this mine.
I plan to interrupt this streak in weeks. On August 20th I shall depart. And though I will be practicing techniques, my time will go to gathering, from start to homecoming, each episode that tweaks attention, and the feelings in my heart. I’ll let impressions, fertilized to bloom, infuse the atmosphere when I resume.
I can’t remember when I’ve liked a crowd, and street fairs may repel me most of all. I don’t like saunters in the sun, and loud effects from people cause my skin to crawl. There’s insufficient shade. I don’t recall occasions comfortable or worth the while. I’m nervous and my spirit starts to fall, as loneliness seeps in to stall my smile.