I skipped two days of morning exercise, for Saturday I played at toddler stuff, and Sunday’s when I like to rest my thighs and calves. My aging body gets enough on weekdays now – this year’s routine supplies me, works my stamina, is nothing tough. But when this morning I began to move, I felt my plans and attitude improve.
The lights are on across the yard again, illuminating nothing for no eyes, as careless stagers try to merchandise.
Accessorizing and arranging when to open house, installing clean disguise, the lights are on across the yard again, illuminating nothing for no eyes.
The seats where none will sit, an antique pen and blotter, more impersonal supplies, as superficial as mundane replies… The lights are on across the yard again, illuminating nothing for no eyes, as careless stagers try to merchandise.
It happened she was hurt when she was five – abandoned for barbaric surgery. And afterwards, although she did survive of course, she altered her trajectory, assuming all responsibility for reaching full potential depth and length. She cultivated stamina and strength.
Disclosive and ungettable she grew. No secrets meant she never had to lie. It’s only decades later, in review, she clearly sees she clearly didn’t try to love her mate enough to satisfy him then, her now – she had her fervent guard up all those years, till love became too hard.
There were so many gateways to defend! Invulnerable might have let her win but she was ambushed, needing to contend with love exploding, rocking her within a year of her first child’s origin. Then passion she’d restricted and suppressed oozed forth, to seize her heart and heat her breast.
I started knowing, when the children came, how vital and important was my role, how love could be resentful, all the same, how often I would lecture or cajole. I tried to act in ways I’d seldom blame. I boggled at how much I can’t control. In time, accustomed wonder readied me to love their children with humility.
On Odin’s day last week, I took a break. Preceding days required I exert a bit too much, and coming stints would take the energy and patience I maintain for when the peace of family’s at stake. Before the 1st of April I reclined. My only self assignments were to make a salad and this stanza, and divert myself in Wednesday wisdom when awake.
The place across the yard’s for sale, so now it’s looking fresh and clean. It’s staged to view and should be seen by someone seeking smaller scale.
New paint, no dust, precise detail: the seller sees what could have been. The place across the yard’s for sale, so now it’s looking fresh and clean.
She told me in complete detail she bought long-term. She didn’t mean to list this soon. But now, between pandemic and beseeching male, the place across the yard’s for sale.
Two weeks ago, reports said traffic’s back, although we’ve yet to open many sites. And yesterday, on my accustomed track to purchase groceries, I was impressed by lots of evidence of people-pack. I had to wear the mask on every block. The fencing trucks, the loads of scaffold rack, were mounting as I passed. I read the flights of skittish crows as welcome almanac.
I told my friends the reason I had kids. I said if I were childless, I’d age to be the weird old lady who forbids their noise and games. I wouldn’t use a cage or torture them with witchy appetite, but neither would I open my front door. I might not lecture or appear a fright, but I would be a neighbor to ignore.
That really wasn’t true, although in fact I like alone and quiet very much. I didn’t know until my first arrived how vehement my love would be. It cracked my heart wide open, worked in passion’s clutch. And ever since reminds me I’m alive.
A bench in the sun on a spring afternoon … molested by none I’ll be leaving here soon, which makes every minute luxurious time, and moves me while in it to doodle this rhyme.