Category Archives: Family

Push

Posted on July 25, 2021 by sputterpub

About to modify my week’s routine,about to leave my nest to board a plane,I hover like a hummingbird betweentwo blossoms that will fuel me as they drainmy introverted energy. The strainof leaving sanctuary is the priceI’ll pay for love and … Continue reading →

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Quiet Work

Posted on July 21, 2021 by sputterpub

I think I’m sensing thoughtfulness amongsome members of the family, toward me.What seldom I experienced when young,may now occur with charming frequency,since I forsook protesting stridently.I sense the rim of what I’ll tolerate –then disconnect or quit them quietly.With time … Continue reading →

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You Make Me Sick

Posted on July 20, 2021 by sputterpub

You make me sick, who was a sorry nurse.You acted like my illness was some trickI’d play to make you work – like I’m perverse.You make me sick. You sent me ill to school – you were too thickwith ego … Continue reading →

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Active Strategy

Posted on July 19, 2021 by sputterpub

I have no goals today, and that feels good.My head’s a little sore. I need more rest.It’s Monday-quiet in my neighborhood,and lately I’ve been relatively stressed.I planned five solo days – I thought I couldlay low, but then I found … Continue reading →

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Filia Cave

Posted on July 17, 2021 by sputterpub

Antipathy was powerful in me.Contempt for how she parented was strong.That brusque behavior was her specialty,and motivated me to prove her wrong.Her insults and insensitivitywere evidence that I did not belong.I’m lazy, selfish – words that stained my youth.I long … Continue reading →

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Vacation Without Vacating

Posted on July 15, 2021 by sputterpub

I thought as usual I’d have todayand half tomorrow quiet here, alone,and then I’d juggle bouts of toddler playand visits with my sibs and Mom (no phonebut in-real-life). And then I heard them saythe young will camp; the elders will … Continue reading →

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No Stairs

Posted on July 14, 2021 by sputterpub

A single-story home was ours, but friendshad houses with half-staircases inside.“Split-level” was the term I heard. Such trendsabounded then with fresh suburban pride.(My view of homes, at 8, was modified).When Mom complained she needed skates to carefor me, I thought … Continue reading →

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Lost Love

Posted on July 12, 2021 by sputterpub

Don’t love you enoughto argue any longer.It’s time to quit now.

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Pearls

Posted on July 11, 2021 by sputterpub

Was it my birth order? I was the first.Or does she have contempt for edgy girls?I know she loved us all, but I was cursedwith sexist expectations, given pearlsI never wanted, mocked for thoughtful aims,told that as I grew I’d … Continue reading →

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A Mess of Resentment

Posted on July 9, 2021 by sputterpub

I tend to misconstrue when I am hurt –at least that was the pattern in my youth.Confusing it with anger, I’d asserta righteous argument, although the truthI hid within, behind my strident blurt,was needy kid. It doesn’t take a sleuthor … Continue reading →

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