Most of what I write about my father is positive. Mostly I admired and agreed with him. But there were a few areas in which our attitudes did not jibe.

Dad had ideas about appropriateness that I never got. He taught me when I was 13, for example, that rock and roll didn’t deserve stereo. This was back in 1963, when monaural systems were more prevalent and cheaper than the new stereo equipment.

It was okay, according to my father, to pay stereo prices for classical works and even for musicals (provided I bought the album with the original Broadway cast), but it wasn’t worth the extra money, it didn’t make acoustical difference, if I was going to play the Beach Boys.

And then there came a time, much later, when Dad castigated me for putting Perrier in Couvoisier. “That’s sacrilege!” he scoffed. “It’s criminal to dilute good cognac with soda. If you want to mix, use cheap brandy.”

Huh? But it doesn’t taste as good with cheap brandy. I can afford the ingredients. Why would I opt for the less good?

Dad wasn’t alone with this sort of attitude. I remember when my friend Charles told me in no uncertain terms that one always drank red wine with pasta, regardless of sauce (bull: dry white is excellent with all pasta. Dry white is even good with coffee and dessert). Or when our guide Nello, dining with us in San Gimignano, instructed me that in Italy one never puts cheese on tomato (pizza margherita?). Or recently, on “Chopped,” hearing one of the judges assert that it’s irresponsible to serve cheese with fish (it depends on the cheese and the fish, but I’ve enjoyed the pairing, in tacos, on tostadas, with pasta. And then there’s cream cheese and lox).

It strikes me as I type, that all these advisors were male. I can’t recall an occasion when a woman warned me not to mix tastes or to use specific equipment. Mom gave me a few fashion “don’ts,” like not pairing stripes with dots, or black with brown, not wearing white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day, but those rules all died quietly, along with the mandate for a lady to don a hat and gloves in the city.