The flip side of anxiety appears to be imagination. What so leaps to fret, before a threat or peril nears, can be engaged to spin an anecdote, a narrative produced in hemispheres that generate unchecked uneasiness. A harness might be woven that adheres, and overwrites the nervousness that keeps you up at night. Make art with proto-fears.
The window job is not complete, and won’t be finished for a half a month or more. My guy is taking off a week I don’t begrudge, and then he’ll start on every door with soggy threshold (sadly, there are four), while staining, trimming, making windows right. For now, I’m pleased and able to ignore disturbance, as I welcome back the light.
Most public servants aren’t competent; effective doesn’t seem to be a goal. So I don’t think we’ll call it accident when red team fails to carry out its goal. Their players don’t appear intelligent. Their leader lacks sufficient self-control. Such comforts me, renewing hope and nerve. If wrong, their vision’s what I might deserve.
In screening sets of standup comedy, I’m struck with how they regulate their speech. They take good time that doesn’t seem to be a pause for the applause or laughs. They teach a slow enunciation I could try, who most my life have spurted words so fast, my brothers mocked while I felt pride in my ability to make them feel outclassed.
But really, why’d I hurry so each word? A little fear of interruption, sure, that now seems somewhat desperate and absurd, the more so for I never aimed to cure another’s argument, or shed clear light on any path but what for me seemed right.
Some mornings I wake up before I thought I might, but after what’s sufficient sleep to operate so consciously. I’m brought to full attentive state, and I can’t creep back into dreaming comfort. I’m not fraught or even fretful, but don’t want to keep reclining, so I rise before the sun, to vary customary. And it’s fun.
Where crosswalks aren’t indicated, there are fewer accidents. When workers wear their chosen clothes, like Fridays, they produce more than when they’re constrained in stuff not loose. Catastrophes invite the best, and any occasions full of looters aren’t many. Around is mostly good, I want to stress (and argue with attention-grabbing press). We’re better than portrayers say we are (but maybe that’s just negative P.R.)
Until his question, I was unaware of anything abnormal in my eye. An hour earlier it wasn’t there, but suddenly two bloody streaks low-framed my iris. I had moved with normal care. I don’t recall a cough or sneeze or blow. Another aging sign? A passing scare? It cannot hurt to take a day to try a spell of cherished rest within my lair…
A benefit to writing every day is lacking topics of significance. At times I pen a journal-type. I say small news on health or give intelligence of what I feel about some light display encountered – items lacking heavy sense. Reviewing such, perspective’s given me – I read and recollect this nagging knee.
(As posted on 4/7/23:
I must have tweaked my left knee recently, for daily it protests a certain bend. As usual it’s port that bothers me – my starboard side has been my better friend. I notice symptoms of debility – a bode of failure or a warning trend? Recording, I’ll give ink without a frown, as long as I don’t let it take me down.)