I walk to buy the sour gummy bears
descendants like, and frozen things for me
before predicted heat can rise, while air’s
still cool and crowds have reached no quantity.
The weight’s in vest and pack; my arms are free,
and I examine gardens as I pace.
I notice soaring palms I didn’t see
before, before the blue of heaven’s face.
Considering the kids, I recognize
that two have what I call a playful brain.
They alter names, with games they improvise;
inside themselves they ever entertain.
I comprehend their schemes – we never strain
at talk which seems more fluent than with others.
One’s oldest, but the third-born I would train,
if possible, to disregard his brothers.
Although I read of rudeness far and wide,
and close at hand I witness thoughtlessness
or lack of focus, when I walk outside
I often note the street is not a mess,
and sometimes nods from others coincide
with mine, or I find evidence, I guess,
of random acts that harnessed energy
contributing to our community.
Ten months ago the window job commenced,
and then four doors plus two were water-sealed.
Last week I let some money be dispensed
on heater maintenance. Now I am steeled
at home. For storms I have a lasting shield
to withstand rain and chill in comfort’s hold.
To other depredations I may yield,
but here’s secure against all rain and cold.
A seeker, and attracted to the same,
but every partner heeled to such belief
that zeal repelled no matter what its name:
Catholicism, Synanon, Gurdjieff,
The Forum (Landmark), EST – all share the blame
for turning quests and questions into grief.
She doesn’t aim to judge or to indict,
but each in time evolved to acolyte.
Distinguishing computer brains from ours,
it’s obvious their memory is best,
and as for arithmetic super powers,
they vanquish even geniuses well-blest.
But no machine without all facts assessed
can make a choice with confidence to act.
Survival ever came from challenge guessed
at and responded to, with dearth of fact.
A consequence of immortality?
Surviving all the cousins and the peers.
Enduring chronic solitude may be
a circumstance unworthy of more years.
Likewise, maintaining health as dotage nears
produces loneliness, when all around
companions bend, forget, lose eyes and ears.
But if I’ve other paths they are unfound.
I’ve reached a stage when nothing feels as good
as comfort in my body. That may be
the case because I’ve long embraced the should
of heart, and worked my brain incessantly,
so guilty conscience doesn’t trouble me –
regret’s a stranger to my peace of mind.
But now what gives me slings of ecstasy
is eating light and moving my behind.
“What’s going on with Portland?” queried she,
and naturally attempting to refuse
to justify irrationality,
I recommended turning off the news.
But she persisted, and I can’t defuse
the plaintive nagging tone she puts in play.
So I suggested she enlarge her views,
and said “no worse than DC or LA.”
I woke too early yesterday, before
a shift alone with grandkids 4 and 8.
They’re company I normally adore
and those 5 hours I would not abate.
But oh the journey home took from me more
of stamina than I’ve reserved of late.
The subsequents – a bubble bath and nap –
returned my mood to calm, my palms to lap.
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