Retro Diagnosis

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“Is there depression in your family?”
she asked me after marrying my son
and giving birth to their first progeny.
I indicated no. “Most everyone
is willful, prone to anger. We’re complex
but rarely down, and seldom sad for long.”
“But what about – ?” she signified my ex,
and I was thunderstruck to get how wrong
I’d been, the way I read three dozen years
ago. I then resented how my spouse
complained of minor ailments, swallowed tears
of sentiment, and hung around the house.
I thought him wussy, and I never guessed
the obvious; the man was sore depressed.

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Inconvenience

jury (1)

There’s no convenient
time for a rhinovirus
or jury duty

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A Postage Stamp

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I can’t remember when I last acquired
a postage stamp. I used the Pitney Bowes
the office leased, but now I’m near-retired,
and rarely am I where the red ink flows.

I paid my tax on property within
the deadline, and I toted it to work.
Returning home, I found to my chagrin
my check unmailed. “Oh fuck. I’m such a jerk,”
I blurted to myself. “I’ll have to buy
a stamp and find a mail chute within days.
December mobs the post office indeed;
convenience stores don’t keep a stamp supply.”

I wracked my brain in contemplating ways,
and then my grownup son addressed my need.

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Old Cold Comfort


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When I was young, I liked the dark and cold
of winter and of midnight. I rebelled
about the sun/moon symbolism told
in classics, and I often felt compelled
to ram my views against tradition’s wall.
I thought I was nocturnal too. I stayed
up after others, and I didn’t fall
asleep at school: a nap was not my trade.

I’d no idea how different I would feel
as I grew old – I’m frequently surprised:
I love a nap; it takes me weeks to heal;
my urge toward warmth and light can’t be disguised.
I thought I knew myself so well. In fact,
I’m moving so my view can’t be exact.

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Rx

how-to-build-first-aid-kit[1]

Declaring I’m not stressed when any ask,
and sleeping rather soundly for my age,
I’m quite sincere – this visage is no mask,
I’m not a martyr, and I don’t engage
hyperbole to write or self-portray.

But lately I’ve a tender neck that tells
me to relax, my right eye tics to say
the similar, and honesty compels
me to admit I really should regard
myself:
release my shoulders and my jaw;
protect my skin;
ensure my spine’s not jarred;
obey my cells’ requests,
my natural law;
and practicing my preaching, run the drill
that doesn’t feature sweets or sitting still.

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Holiday Weekend

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There’s precious dullness
in family these rainy
Sunday afternoons.

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Vagabonding

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Another grandmother would visit less,
contribute money more than presence now.
Acknowledging catastrophe, I guess
it’s true another’d try a different how.
But I can’t stay at home while they contend
with hospitals and stroke dimension’s pace
and space, with daily micro-measured mend;
I have to bring my wallet, hands, and face.

It isn’t sacrifice. It will not last.
I view it as a vagabonding year.
The patient will recover. I’ll get past
construction’s hard disruption. Air will clear
and I’ll return to nights of comfort, ease
by day, and seek out new activities.

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Ice

three-ice-cubes

In love with ice although it makes him choke,
he asks for cups and settles for three cubes.
He’s weeks away from swallowing – his stroke
disabled signals, plumbed his face with tubes,
and swept him out of balance, off his feet,
removed him from his customary bed
and ordinary habits with complete
betrayal. The explosion in his head
has decimated, cancelled or postponed
ambitions that were mounting rugged heights.
He’s dwelling in the stroke dimension, zoned
for days of drugs and therapy, for nights
of pressured respiration, standing dreams,
and lust condensed to icicle extremes.

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It Takes Two

two_silhouette_profile_or_a_white_vase

Don’t self-describe with
“I’m the sort of person who …”
No one is a sort.

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Good Neighbors

Skunks at sex

Two skunks made babies in my yard last week,
assuming that was reproductive sex:
two poufs of jet bisected by a streak
of white elongating their backs and necks.
That’s two months early, says the Internet.
Their mating season doesn’t start in fall.
Wait six and sixty days now; will we get
a winter litter in the yard at all?

We’ve seen at least a quad of kits each spring.
At times I’ve sensed their reek released at play.
My neighbors cringe at skunks, but everything
they do is cute, and never do they spray
a careful resident, who’s no canine –
compared to ‘coons and ‘possums, skunks are fine.

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