So even if the questions aren’t skewed, and even when results are honestly reported, the conclusions must be viewed as only pertinent to massive groups. Statistics just apply to magnitude – when stuck on individuals, they fade. But managed health care seems to go for crude – applying big statistics onto me is not the way good remedy’s pursued.
I know a computer programmer, who turned himself into a scammer. But truly the fact’s he’s no good at syntax, and now the dude’s bound for the slammer.
My parents were the youngest of their sibs. My dad had older sisters (numbered four). For Mom there’s near nine years between the cribs her sister and herself were put in. Sure I have some cousins, but they’re all those years ahead of what my mom and dad produced. And too we moved away. We had no near extended family around our roost.
So I have sixteen cousins to recall, and I possess some memories of meals and visits, yet the fact is they’re a small and quiet engine powering no wheels. But now that Mom, their only auntie, shrinks, I’m calling them and we’re refreshing links.
The moment I awoke I raised the blind as usual, to garden-start the day. My vision snagged on novelty – the kind I can’t ignore and don’t adore. What’s new is just a mat outside a door, designed to clash with every natural garden hue. The neighbors picked hot pinkish tones combined, that promise to show dirt, to fade, to fray, and make me wonder that they have in mind.
Our mom caught Covid and we’re all in shock (she had the shots and mostly she behaved). She’s in the ICU, and that’s a block to seeing her. The diagnosis gave us reason for the falls and the fatigue that led her kids to worry she faced death. Her viral load is low – her tests intrigue the doctors, but for sure she’s short of breath.
Four days in bed and chair extort a toll. Disorienting scenes have her confused (she’s always tried to manage and control). Frustration and complaints are quick-excused, but how her will retreats gives me concern – she may grow too compliant to return.
A benefit from daily poetry (less valuable than practice, but still nice) is how the pieces serve as diary (to feel and then record’s like living twice). At times when I reread, the words entice my memory – provocative technique. Well here’s a little record of last week.
Six days ago the sky was middle-blue. The atmosphere was clear without a cloud. I chose to cherish all within my view; I mourn for missing rainfall, but I vowed to just appreciate. My grief’s unbowed for what we’ve done to water, land, and air, but Wednesday I loosed loving everywhere.
Ten days ago Mom fell two times or three (the woman’s in her tenth decade alive). They stitched her up and checked her out, to see the damage falling does to 95, and found Coronavirus. We derive some hope from dire test results. Before, her symptoms made approaching death look sure.
The night before composing this, as well, I got a second offer on the place I bought and built and tried but couldn’t sell some years ago, when there was not a trace of interest (stressful memories embrace me, but I steel myself to sell a deed). It’s looking like transactions will proceed.
I’m starting to like Mondays once again. When I was young, five days a week I’d go commuting to my office, working. Then I took to taking Mondays to bestow selected time on me, instead of kids and client work. At first I had a blast. But soon my day was filled with errand’s bids; the ecstasy of Monday didn’t last.
I now go to the office once a week. I care for grandchildren another two. That leaves four days to use the way I seek – I sometimes don’t know what I want to do. Each Monday I return to exercise; that weekly powers me to organize.
A week ago we had a little storm. The forecast was more promising than true. Some drizzle teased, but we’re too dry and warm for winter like the seasons we’ve lived through; we have to say goodbye to what we knew. Tomorrow’s strange – I’m trying to be calm, although it’s looking like we’re losing Mom.