Still and all, most users have been making sure that the toilet flushes. Most of us put up with the situation. But at least a couple of times a day someone exits the ladies’ room without completing the flush, leaving mellow yellow or lively pink or even a cloud of bad brown in the bowl.

Apparently this is just too annoying for Cindy. Obviously she hates it. She put up a hand-lettered sign on the tile wall above the sink, with her suggestions for how to use the balky toilet. All that did was trigger a passive-aggressive response in a few users, because the incidence of incomplete flushing increased after Cindy posted.

She didn’t give up. When that woman hates, she does it thoroughly. Yesterday the polished version of her message went up, on the wall next to the sink mirror and also on the back of each cubicle door, where the sitter must either see it or take care to hang a jacket over it. The sign is now red-lettered. The pitch must be at least 40. The message is centered:

1. Maintain pressure on the toilet flush lever for at least 60 seconds.
2. Make sure that the contents in the toilet bowl have been completely flushed.
3. Exit the bathroom.

What a turd. At least two of us were set to confront Cindy about it. Sixty seconds?! On what planet? Doesn’t the moron know how long a minute can be? Has she never waited on a microwave? And “exit the bathroom”? Yeah it’s true that “make sure the toilet is completely flushed” is too short a message to leave, but why is she impelled to leave the message at all? Does she actually think the non-flusher will read it and think “Oh my! I never realized I was leaving my waste for another to see and eliminate! I’m so glad it was pointed out to me. I’ll mend my ways immediately. I wish there were some way for me to thank my anonymous Good Samaritan!”

I know it seems childish, but I couldn’t resist using the bad flusher more often, and leaving it in its natural incomplete state. I’m not the only one who has lately been allowing extra paper to remain on the counter. We all know someone who has taken to hanging a seat protector halfway in the bowl of Cindy’s favorite toilet, whenever she can.

Cindy needs to look to her own hygiene. One of these days one of us is going to talk to her about cigarette disposal. She’s fairly conscientious about not littering in general, but the woman has a habit of dropping her filtered butt on the sidewalk or in the gutter and then (usually) stepping on it. Fire danger aside (some seasons), it’s no more acceptable than emptying a car ashtray onto the street.

There oughta be a sign…

(Here’s the URL for the 2012 paper towel TED talk. Of course the dude’s from Oregon…http://www.ted.com/talks/joe_smith_how_to_use_a_paper_towel?language=en)