Meanwhile, she began to agree with her father about the divorce. Wayne grew happier the longer he was apart from Sandy, and he gave Valerie much better attention. Sandy continued to be coldly practical and inattentive. Wayne fell in love with Cynthia and even that enhanced Valerie’s life. Cynthia was generous and fun-loving, and she came with a son two years older than Valerie, an attractive boy named Jake.

Wayne’s household was an interesting one, and it wasn’t hurt by all the money. E-den.com went public, and the value of Wayne’s options made him a nouveau-millionaire. Then 2Buy.com acquired it and took the lid off Wayne’s net worth.

Valerie had to spend half her time with her mother. Sandy was making money too, but it was four hundred dollar an hour accounting fees for dot.coms, so the ride wasn’t nearly as impressive as Wayne’s. Sandy’s additional wealth just fed her arrogance; she was driving Valerie to distraction with status-seeking and perfectionist behavior. The bad dreams ended when Valerie lost all control one night and screamed at her mother, “I know why Dad divorced you, and he was right!”

Relations between Sandy and Valerie deteriorated even more quickly after that. Valerie would have moved in permanently with her father except that Sandy resisted it, on principle. So she had to spend almost half of every week with her mother. Sandy snooped and reasoned. Valerie sneaked and raved.

Sandy wanted to marry again, and she dated systematically. Valerie was a part-time intensely critical observer. She watched her mother add up the pluses and minuses of a man. She heard Sandy describe a guy as lots of fun who was no fun at all, but who was “suitable.” In fact, none of the strategic romances worked out. It got to where Valerie could detect the slight pink of attraction as well as the soothing blue of dissipation in Sandy’s relationships.

By the time Valerie was fourteen she was physically mature. She wasn’t particularly horny for Jake, but she asked him to escort her to a school dance. She liked him better than any of the boys in her class, but she wasn’t after his body or offering hers. When they took a break from dancing it was because they were tired, and when they couldn’t find chairs together they rested standing up, with her leaning against him. It was good after all the bouncing around to sway slowly to the music. His fingers at her waist were warm. She didn’t feel like stopping them when his hands began to travel up and down her torso, in wide caressing circles, and then around her breasts. It didn’t turn her on; it just felt good. And if it was a little embarrassing, then that was good practice. And if it blew her mother away, hearing later how she and Jake were hauled out of the room by the uptight chaperones, well, that would be a little wake-up.

Valerie had no idea that Sandy would go ballistic like that. She should have had a clue when Sandy told her to get in the back seat; afterward she understood her mother arranged it so she wouldn’t slap Valerie, no matter what.

That arrangement is also what saved Valerie’s life. They were about halfway to her mother’s house, speeding too fast on the curving dark road in that unincorporated golf course community, when Sandy lost control of the Lexus and plowed into a huge tree. The front of the car was extremely condensed.

Valerie had a horrible choice: leave her mother to try to find help, or stay with her, be with her. She could barely make out a pale blue-gray fog in the car between them, thickest near her mother’s face but shredding into the air as she looked. She took her mother’s hand and thought love to her.

Sandy’s chest was crushed and her femoral artery was severed. In most doctors’ opinions, either injury was enough to kill her, given the way she was wedged in and the amount of time it took to get her out of the car. Still, some folks think it’s a little strange that Valerie didn’t go for help. But they don’t know about blue-gray clouds. Valerie’s glad that she and her mother made peace.