It was no surprise how parallel their lives seemed. Goofus and Gallant were the same age, lived in the same neighborhood, and experienced comparison whatever they did.

So there came a time in their lives, as they edged into their late 30s, when they tried to eliminate bad habits. Both had taken up tobacco in college, and each vowed to quit.

They weren’t alone. Their wives didn’t smoke but they were American white women; they harbored eating disorders. Goofus and Snarly were mostly vegetarian, but that didn’t stop her from wrestling with 30 extra pounds. Gallant’s Smarmy was thin as a rail but she was hiding bulemia, and Gallant knew it.

That’s where similarities ended. The two couples went about their attempted modifications in markedly different manners.

Gallant assumed he was dealing with a previously-solved problem. Smarmy agreed with that attitude. They bought books, read Internet articles, joined support groups, sought guidance. And they each made progress, and they each slipped back. The patch didn’t work so well for him, but hypnotism did, for awhile. And later on the group therapy had him off smokes for almost a year. But he’d always dip back into the drug, first in a social situation, drinking around smokers and taking hits and then bumming a few and even buying a pack, just for the night. Inevitably a crisis or a stress occurred soon after, some condition that made smoking a few more seem like a controllable release, and within a few weeks his cough was back, that burble in his throat when he hadn’t spoken for a bit, that incessant urge.

As for Smarmy, she made early progress in mandated treatment but she returned to purging after she was released. She recovered under intense outpatient therapy, but she continued to struggle when she was on her own.

Goofus and Snarly didn’t seek help. They’d each been such black sheep in their peer group that guidance had never been available; they’d become accustomed to working on solutions. And they had learned, he through sports and she while studying Greek, that no campaign can succeed without strategy and tactics. Strategy was the overall plan, drawn up in the war room or the resolute cranium. Tactics were the actual course of actions, reactions and transactions, in the field but guided by the shape of the strategy.

So Goofus and Snarly each made a plan. That necessitated providing time to implement the plan, which required shifting their current patterns and, ultimately, stealing time from sleep. It meant knowing what would actually work for each of them, which resulted in some interesting meditations. And it involved understanding that they were giving up habits that had satisfied and nurtured them, like dear friends. Goofus and Snarly had both read that it takes six weeks to form a new habit, but they also allowed that it would take a year to grieve for the loss of the old one.

Ever the consumers, Gallant rewarded himself half a dozen times by spending on toys what he saved on smokes. Smarmy acquired full wardrobes in five different sizes.

Goofus experienced increased freedom; he liked not having to pay attention to when he’d need to buy more cigs. And he noticed enjoyment in breathing, which led to yoga. Snarly had to buy some new clothes, in time, but she always selected for soft and comfortable, so her old apparel tended to stretch.