It was never a religion. And its adherents were too old when they joined to form a gene pool; they weren’t a race. Although they were mostly women, they were nothing like witches. They weren’t a service club either.

But they agreed that the bathroom was the best room. Oh they usually acted like they thought so too, when men and children claimed the kitchen was number one. They admitted that the hearth is the best gathering place. But they were weary with working in the kitchen, and they didn’t love food as much as water.

They talked about the bathroom and bathing. In time they distilled from their dialogue the rules of bathing about which they all agreed. Examples:

It is definitely okay to eat in the bathroom. The question is what. Cooked food, potentially messy, is not a good idea. Oiled food is just asking for trouble. But fresh berries, especially blueberries, were designed for bathing consumption. The drinking of champagne or lemonade is a symbiotic pleasure.

It is definitely okay to read in the bathroom. One has to be careful to keep the reading material dry, but that is almost a self-governing experience. As soon as your grasp of the text begins to fail, you should put the book aside.

It is not okay to sleep in the bathroom.

A good bathroom is easy to clean.

Of course it’s okay to plug the overflow drain with a washcloth-draped toe, but not with an unsupervised device.

While it’s acceptable to combine a tub and shower, it’s never good design to require a shower curtain or even a shower door. Care must be taken to design the tub surround so that any shower spray is confined to the bathtub area and easily mopped.

A well-designed bath won’t require heating except what bathing provides.

The bathroom rug should be of highest quality and needn’t be washable. Natural lanolin-filled wool is the best material.

That’s how the Book started. It soon developed away from rules and toward the bathers’ stories.