I object. I have a complaint. I may not have any right to voice it, but that’s never shut me up before.

I think I understand how evolution works. Natural selection has made sense to me since I first heard of it as a youngster. It’s no longer a theory; I even tested it myself when I constructed a “learning” machine for junior high science fair. My project became a tic-tac-toe expert by losing the ability to make losing moves. In other words, only winning moves survived to play again, so after a short while, the system “learned” to make no losing moves. It was like my matchboxes were programmed, designed by a creator to win, but the truth was that the survivor process did it all.

Clearly, evolution was, is and will be. It’s a wonderful system, but brutal. Elegant. But maybe not right.

The problem is this. The goal of evolution (not deliberate, probably, but real nonetheless) clashes with the goal of human cognition.

Selection rewards expediency. The fastest, the strongest, the most clever are the creatures who live to raise progeny. There is no evolutionary reward for wisdom, grace, or fineness.

Meanwhile, our brains seem stuck on causality and progress. We long for a story where effect follows cause. We want good narrative. But what the narrative always contains is a character, a protagonist, who is flawed and who through the action learns and develops. We all love the story of the prodigal son. We’re suckers for the kid who after a rough patch begins working “to potential.” The truth is, we find angels boring.

But natural selection doesn’t favor characters who develop. Sexual selection doesn’t either. We’re all locked in a process that rewards the slash-and-burn hero, when what we really long for is the wisdom of the (often celibate) sage.

This is a jarring clash. If God is behind this evolution routine, then maybe S/He needs to tweak the machine.