When I was around 14 years old, I had an idea that has never stopped cracking me up. I was walking along a road in unincorporated Bonita, California with either my buddy Alice or my neighbor Cindy, when the fancy occurred to me. We saw a lot of VW bugs back then, putt-putting around in their economical way, and I wondered aloud how it would be to trip one.

Yes, trip. I imagined just sticking my sturdy leg out in front of one of the round-topped vehicles, and in my mind I could see it stop abruptly and flip like a bug. Forward motion ceases, and the spherical car is rocking on its back, wheels spinning ineffectively at the sky. I still love the stupid image.

I’m sure there were other silly notions, but the next one I’m describing occurred to me in my mid-40s. What if people talked like dogs? I’m sure you’ve noticed how enthusiastic a dog’s greeting is, no matter how often. A dog’s goodbye is as absent as his hello is present. Really. Dogs don’t say goodbye. All I have to do to bring on a guffaw is imagine business telephone conversations involving dogs. “Hi! How are you! Wow but it’s good to hear your voice! Hot damn, this is fun!” And then you discuss whatever. As soon as you’re done, you both hang up without a word. One of you forgot a comment so you reconnect 30 seconds later. “Hellooo! It’s you! How delightful! What’s shakin’ pal?”

And a few days ago, in the midst of the terrible news coming out of Japan after the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami, I heard a reporter explain to the viewing audience that it isn’t the actual wave of water racing across the ocean toward our west coast. Rather it’s the energy. He repeated that fact again. And then he said it a third time: it’s not the water moving but the energy.

Well, at that point I had to conclude that a lot of people must need that truth. There must be a vast group who think the actual water molecules are what’s moving. Get it? Just imagine the near-supersonic water molecule that can move at 550 mph. Wouldn’t it boil off, in friction against the less super molecules? What is this molecule’s mission? Oh I suspect there’s a story in here somewhere …