When I was around 55, I finally figured out that people don’t always mean their words. Some phrases are in fact code.

For example, “Hi, how are you?” is seldom an honest inquiry about your health or mood. You’re supposed to say “fine” and then the conversation continues. If you respond with something like “Oh, I’ve been better. My neck is acting up again and this wrist is either carpal tunnel or arthritis,” you’ve sent the dialogue somewhere your interlocutor never meant it to go.

“Whatever” means “go soak your head.”

And when someone declares, “That’s your opinion” with that playground face, they don’t really mean it. There’s no point in you replying with “Well of course it’s my opinion; I’d attribute it if I were quoting someone else.”

Your companion really means something like “Not this again! I’m tired of it” or perhaps “Aack! You’re making this too difficult. Let’s change the subject and just chat.”

It’s okay to mean your words and assume meaning in the words of others, but it would be delusional to pretend the attitude is normal. It’s one of the ways I’m quixotic and I’m sticking with it.

So I’ll declare here, in the face of no one’s curiosity, that I may quote others, but I write my opinions.

Like:

The first obligation of intelligence is to be happy.

The first obligation of art is to be interesting.

Life is a communication challenge, so stop avoiding the work.

and

There isn’t enough
space for a victory dance
in your comfort zone