Monthly Archives: January 2011

Musical Chairs

Posted on January 14, 2011 by sputterpub

     When I was around 13 I was immersed in hormones: my own and those of all my schoolmates. What had started in 4th and 5th grades as the occasional crush in the unusual kid then grew prevalent. Everybody was … Continue reading →

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Respecting Elders

Posted on January 14, 2011 by sputterpub

     When I was 9, I got kicked out of Sunday School. We lived in Chula Vista and attended a conservative synagogue, and I guess it is more accurate to say I was asked to leave class and not return. Probably … Continue reading →

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Snail Trail

Posted on January 12, 2011 by sputterpub

  When I was 48, one morning I killed 48 snails. Normally I’m non-violent. I wince at even the mention of cruelty to a bird or mammal, and I don’t eat their meat (but that was a decision first made by … Continue reading →

Posted in Critters, Poetry | 2 Comments

Ugly Duckling

Posted on January 11, 2011 by sputterpub

   When I was 14 I got my period. I was so retarded my mother almost took me to the doctor about it when finally she got to slap my face (gently and with love, in the tradition of her mother, … Continue reading →

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Bad Words

Posted on January 10, 2011 by sputterpub

  When I was young, I never heard my parents swear. I never saw my mother read a book. I thought at first that’s just the way they were, but as I grew I learned that they were adjusting their … Continue reading →

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Comp Lit 1B

Posted on January 7, 2011 by sputterpub

  When I was 18 my comparative literature professor blew my mind. We all had to take two quarters of English or Comp Lit or Dramatic Arts or Speech (soon to be called Rhetoric), and I would have enrolled in English … Continue reading →

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How To

Posted on January 6, 2011 by sputterpub

  When I was around 10, I gave up thumb-sucking. My parents had tried to talk or trick me into forsaking the activity for as long as I could remember, but it was fear of peers that inspired me. I was … Continue reading →

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My Medical Blessing

Posted on January 5, 2011 by sputterpub

When I was 35, I kind of reinvented myself. It wasn’t my idea to rupture that ovarian cyst, and it wasn’t really my doctor’s fault when she made that judgment call and decided not to open me up at first. … Continue reading →

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Enemy Lessons

Posted on January 4, 2011 by sputterpub

  When I was 45 or so, I learned what “subtext” means. It was a lawyer who said it to me – “There’s no subtext” – on the phone, and from his context I gathered that he used the word … Continue reading →

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Consulting

Posted on January 3, 2011 by sputterpub

     When I was 29 I became a consultant. I think I’d been practicing for some time, at least since high school, when I had friends instead of boyfriends and counseled them so much my mother called me Dear Abby. … Continue reading →

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