When I was maybe 4 or 5, I started to understand dreaming.

The girl next door was a year or two older than I, beautiful, and kind enough that I imagined we could be best friends. Looking back now I have no idea why Barbara was so nice to me, but then I realize I never saw her with a friend at her place, never heard of her seeing a friend elsewhere, and I wonder what the story was in her house.

Barbara has nothing to do with this memory, except it was through her that I knew about the candy. For one thing, she was Catholic and so of course she had Christmas. But of more importance was her uncle’s newsstand/soda fountain/candy shop, a place where Barbara and I were permitted to spend an occasional afternoon. And help ourselves to whatever we wanted.

Somewhere in all the Christmas hoopla I became acquainted with the candy stocking. Knee-sock shaped and made of netting, it was filled with colorful non-chocolate holiday treats. You know: those shiny ribbon pieces and striped mints and jelly-filled lozenges. I was dazzled. It was my first cornucopian experience. It was a see-through thing of bounty, a glorious Ali-Baban treasure of sweets.

I saw them. I wanted one. I yearned in vain.

So I dreamed one. In my sleep I received a net candy stocking and I was happy, until I awoke and it was gone. I was disappointed and puzzled.

I managed to dream of the candy stocking again. This time, remembering how it slipped through my possession somewhere between dreamworld and waking, this time I carried the dream stocking to my dream bed and shoved it under my dream pillow. Then I got into my dream bed and went back to sleep until I woke up. I grinned and reached under my pillow and…

Learned something important about dreaming. There was no candy stocking under my pillow.

We all know dreams aren’t real. The dream candy experience showed me that I can be aware of how dreaming works while dreaming, and that I can become aware, just a bit, that I am dreaming. That awareness distills all terror out of the experience, and what is left is good.